Because You and I Need This at Some Point

Putting things off, not living life to the fullest, harboring dreams that never seem to manifest are all part of many of our lives. We try so many different things to change our habits, get over our laziness, improve our lifestyle and we always end up where we began. During the last couple of years, these are some things that helped me get over a few of my fears and procrastination. In general, these are some random things that improved my life at least slightly.

When I Wanted a Job

There’s no use waiting for someone to give you that push. Unless you mentally decide to do something, you’ll keep digging in your heels. Unless you search for jobs, send your resumes and interact with employers, you won’t have chances of getting a good job. If your friends bring you the best jobs, they won’t be of any use unless you act on them. The onus is upon you to take an action in order to get ahead of where you are now.

When I Wanted to go For a Long Trip

If you want that expensive watch but you’ve been putting it away for a time when you’ll have more money, you are never going to get it. Start by saving a small portion from your salary. If your watch costs 12000 bucks, save 1000 bucks a month and in a year, you’ll have your watch. If you are to wait for a day when you can spend 12000 bucks all at once, it might take 4-5 years.

When I Kept Putting of My Dream Trip

For someone like me who works 6 days a week, travelling frequently is unthinkable. I use up most of my leaves to go home and am almost always left with very less leaves. Last year when I decided to start traveling, initially I kept putting it off. Because, what if the audit happens, what if I need the leave for something else, what if my leave doesn’t get approved were few of the many questions my mind kept throwing at me. Fed up of my own excuses, I booked a package tour and decided to see how the whole scenario turned out.

 

There were no hassles at all. I got my leave, I went for the trip and it turned out to be one of the best trips I have ever had. If I hadn’t booked the tour, I wouldn’t have made it fearing so many unreal scenarios. That’s when I decided to first book my trip and then figure out how to manifest it. There are more chances of you making to that trip if you’ve already paid for it. 😛

Whenever I Writhe in Pain During Menstruation/Migraine

If you are having a bad day, instead of fighting it, accept that things aren’t going well and reassure yourself wholeheartedly that it wouldn’t last beyond 2 days or a week. I am emphasizing on ‘whole-heartedly’ because it is something you should really feel and accept. If you do so, you’ll have the strength to deal with whatever you are facing. Because you have realized that it is just a matter of time before things go back to being normal.

When too Many Apps Weigh Me Down and Make me Feel Worthless

There are so many articles, apps and motivational pages that suggest a million things that would improve your lifestyle. Do not buy them all at once. Take one app/article/lifestyle at a time and work towards making a habit out of it. My phone was cluttered with lifestyle improvement apps and I just deleted half of them. I feel more at peace now.

 

Most of these are what a procrastinator or an over-thinker needs. But all of us do end up at these spots once in a while and it is always good to keep these in mind and act accordingly. But do you know what the first thing  you need to do is? Start saving for that expensive thing you’ve been planning to buy. It has been way too long you’ve been putting it off. So go for it right now. Keep aside a 500 or a 1000 rightaway!

7 Ways of People Planning

We are the shadows of the people around us. Our thoughts, actions, and behavioral patterns are reflections of our parents, teachers, and friends. People play very important roles in our lives and so if we are to grow, we need people who support our growth. If we have negative people around pulling us down, if people we love stop responding to us, or if we stop responding to them, there could be conflicts.

How do we grow when our mind is not sane, free and healthy? Focus on people around you, set things right and you will find things falling into place.

1. Let Go

All of us have been here. We have seen our close ones gradually slip away, some of us watched, some of us were confused, some of us threw tantrums but people who left, they just left! There is only so much you can do.

Source: Here

When you feel someone is drifting apart, do your best to hold them back. But remember do not beg for a place. If they want you in their life, they will try to sort it out seeing your efforts. If they don’t, your begging will only make it worse. You will either give them a sense of superiority or you will be a mere annoyance to them. Learn to let go after a point.

 

2. Cutting People off

If someone is adversely affecting your life, bossing you around, making jokes at your cost, mocking your beliefs and thought processes, putting you down, cut them off asap! You don’t need that kind of negativity. Love could make you so blind that you even lose your self-respect to save a relationship. I am talking any relationship here.

 

Do this. It will be hard in the beginning. Very hard! But in a few months’ time, you will experience a kind of freedom you never knew existed until then.

3. Embracing your Home group

Your home group – The ones who watched you grow, who love you as you are, your closest circle of friends who know you raw.

Many times we chase people who don’t care and spend time with people who don’t need us. Meanwhile, there are others chasing us, sometimes waiting patiently for a word of love, for some time with us. We don’t have to go that far. There will be someone in every house yearning for our time. Bask in the love you already have rather than chasing the one you may never have. Spend more time with your loved ones. It will be time wisely spent and you’ll never regret it.

Reach out to reach within yourself

4. Talk it out

If he/she was sucking the happiness out of you or he/she just left you for better friends, the story is over. But if you just drifted apart over a silly fight or misunderstanding and if it still pains you, isn’t it high time that you tried to be friends again? We already have so many things bothering us without all the ‘ifs’ adding to them. What if you had apologized? What if you had talked it out? Is it too late?

You wouldn’t know unless you try. Try talking things out and if it doesn’t work out, you know it is the end. You can learn to put it behind you. If not, you just got back your old buddy! 🙂

5. Mingling With Underprivileged People

When Privilege is love and care…

“I cried for shoes until I saw a child without legs” To value what you have, you should either lose it or be in touch with someone who doesn’t have it. Ever went to an old-age home?

A bunch of old and frail people hoping and waiting for their children to come back and take them home. Some of them know it may never happen, yet a ray of hope remains. Being with them will open our eyes to many things – to count our blessings, to know how they feel, to learn empathy, to realize this could be us some day.

Mingling with under-privileged people will open us to suffering, will make us more kind and compassionate, will remind us to live to the fullest as long as we can.

6. Getting in touch

Do you remember that teacher who contributed so much to your growth? That mentor whom you ran to whenever your life was a mess? Those friends you had coffee with and felt at home every single time? There are so many people we weren’t very close to but we felt a strange happiness when we were with them. They helped us grow mentally and emotionally. They were our support systems. What happened to them?

Get in touch with people who have always been there, no questions asked, even after you vanished for a long time. Go on. Pick up your phone right now and call them. I have to make a call to my LKG class teacher.

7. Forgiving

“You don’t know how strong you are until you have to accept an apology you will never get.” Life isn’t a movie where everyone realizes their mistakes in the end and apologizes. No. In life people leave you hanging amidst your troubles, never to look back. It ends there. You wait for a backward glance, an apology that you may or may not get. What do you do? Grieve the rest of your life over what happened? You need to move on. You don’t have to forget, but you need to forgive. Not for anyone else, but you.

 You might wonder how any of this relates to Self Development. I had a rough phase during the end of last year and earlier this year. I had to cut off negative people from my life, I lost a very close friend for no reason and I was very much depressed. All I did was hole up in my room and whine away a whole lot of days that could have been otherwise productive. In a while, I realised I had to get past it. If people are causing problems in life, you deal with people in order to solve it right? That is all this is about.

I did that and felt a lot better. It cleared my head tremendously and a day became more tolerable to me that I focussed on other aspects of Self Development including taking up this BarAThon! I am happy now.

Bonus tip – We often underestimate the power of little and stupid acts 😉 I may write a post on it some day if I remember to.

 

Featured Image Courtesy: Here

7 Ways to Lasting Happiness

If you are new here and want to work on Self-Development, you can start with this post. This is a series of 7 posts that deals with various facets of Self Development. Do let me know your suggestions or feel free to ask your queries.

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Life is the quest for happiness, isn’t it? We have heard that happiness can be found within us. Now I am giving you 7 methods of finding this happiness within you and bringing it to the surface. If you notice, these are either to be repeated daily or they make a mark in your life. Either way, they give lasting happiness. This is just a drop in the ocean of ways to be happy. I am restricting to 7 since my theme demands it.  I hope you find them useful.

1. Finding time for your passion

What was that one thing you have always wanted to do/learn/be? An artist, a singer, an author, a sportsperson, an actor, a linguist, a traveler? Whatever your heart yearns for, you still can be that. You say you already have a job? That is okay. If you’re passionate about something, pursue it during your spare time!

Observe where your time goes wasted. Reduce the wastage and invest some time per week to follow your passion. You WILL enjoy those few hours because you love doing it. Because that is the dream! Go ahead. Plan, chase, sweat it out and be what you were meant to be. 😀

2. Reward Yourself at the End of the Day

You sometimes spend way too much time on your break – watching funny videos, movies, sitcoms, reading, social networking – and at the end of the day, get stressed out as no work gets done. Eventually, in spite of doing what you love, you are unhappy. The key is to find the midway. Assign a particular time, preferably towards the end of the day to do what you love. It will be the reward for the day’s work and also a stress buster. You will eagerly look forward to this particular time and have the motivation to finish your work. When you are done, man! won’t you be the happiest and the most relaxed person on Earth? 😀

3. Writing one happy thing about the day

You have heard this before and I’d say follow it. If you have been following my Self Development posts, you already have a journal to jot down your To-Do list. In the same journal, you can jot down what made you happy at the end of each day. It could be a person, a thing, an event, a phenomenon, a feeling, an action. Anything! Even better. Take up the 100 Happy Days challenge. When you voluntarily find reasons to be happy every day, eventually you will see reasons for happiness everywhere, in everything involuntarily.

4. Being in tune with nature

We often underestimate this aspect of life – The gift of nature. But think about it. The feeling you get when you go on a trek, go to a beach, sit on the bank of a lake, walk amidst the woods, ride in the rain. It is a feeling you never get anywhere else. You are in tune with nature, the bare elements that you are made of. You are in tune with yourself. You can contemplate, look for answers or simply admire the creation of the Almighty.

5. Mark your Year

And mark my words. If you follow this, in 5 years, you will thank me. It is very simple. At the beginning of every year, decide 2 (Or any number of) realistic, amazing, practical things you will do that year.
For instance, if you want to go on a trip to Malaysia, do your homework, make a plan, fix a tentative date, determine the budget, and start saving for it in particular. Prepare explicitly for it so that you make it happen.

Remember your years not by numbers but by the amazing things you did.

The year I went to Malaysia.

The year I went Scuba diving.

The year I came across this amazing blog ‘A Few Handpicked Things’ 😛 *Hides face*

 

6. Spending time with a child or a pet

Children are innocent. They live in the moment. There is a lot to learn from their spontaneity and their baby talk gives you a fuzzy feeling. As for pets, love oozes like cheese fro a pizza. Hugging your dog and letting him give you saliva facial is all the therapy you need to be happy. Both these beings are always happy and do not spoil their moods with unnecessary thoughts. They are always happy and busy and if you are with them, you are always happy and busy.

I used to have a dog and whenever I was upset, she used to sense it, come and sit beside me. It took barely half an hour for me to forget my sadness.

Oh! I miss her 😦 Now I need a dog!

7. Gift Happiness

I love giving gifts. It is heart-warming to see the smile on their lips, the surprise in their eyes turning to an excited twinkle as they unwrap the gift. There is more. I tell them what I love about them, I surprise them with letters, I write things that make them feel good or create something.

Encourage, appreciate, tell them they are loved, gift little things, nothing too pricey – chocolates, flowers. In my office, when friends go out for lunch and come back with toffees, we run around in glee for those tiny treats. See? It is that easy! 😀

I sometimes tell strangers that I like there top or dress etc. It makes them smile and I feel good about appreciating someone. I send out happiness to the universe and get some back.

Psst! Appreciate my writing and I’ll be mentally pirouetting for the rest of the day (Okay I’m done promoting myself. Promise!) 😉

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My Bucketlist for 2017

A New Year has begun. Wishing all my friends here a wonderful 2017! Last year, I made a bucket list thinking I should do everything in it by the end of the year. 2016 just flew! I don’t remember any of the 12 months actually being there! The bucket list didn’t work out too well either. So, the same list will be continuing this year too.

1. Get a Job – Nop! Wrote my CA finals twice this year and looking for a job presently. So yeah! This year, job has become a priority for me. No matter what, I need to get one.

2. Write Better – “I have to improve my grammar, vocabulary, polish my language, use better ideas, write on better topics, reduce writing gibberish. I want to write posts that are more meaningful. What I am doing now is, just writing away.” is what I wrote last year and I haven’t changed even a bit. I did start a new theme though. ‘Grandma Tales’ and I intend to continue it. Also, I’d like to focus on a couple of new themes.

3. Read More – I read To Kill a Mockingbird, A Song of Ice and Fire – first 2 and 3rd part one. This time, I have entered the Goodreads reading challenge and am planning to read 15 books. A very high target for me!

4. Focus on Music – I joined Smule App and sang around 10 songs. I want to sing more frequently and record more songs. Here is one song I recorded. We have sync issues on the app which is why you find some lag here and there:

https://www.smule.com/recording/shreya-ghosal-thode-badmaash/939915401_894491591/frame

5. Learn everything I have been intending to learn – I feel particularly proud when I type this. Last year, I had listed swimming, driving and dance under this. First two almost done. Now, dance is the only thing pending 🙂

6. Keep Spreading Happiness – I believe that little things can bring happiness and one need not do great things. It is good enough if one does a tiny deed of kindness. I want to do more of such deeds of kindness and spread smiles this year. Even if that means spreading smiles through my posts.

7. Quill More – This year I did! Next step is to start making quilled greetings. I could easily make one in a week right? Will keep a slot for the same. You can see the ones I made this year here

8. Become a More Serious Blogger – The aim is one post a week and read 5 posts per day. Also, I have a new fashion blog. One post a week there too. Read more on blogging and improving writing skills. As mentioned earlier, focus on specific themes.

9. Learn a New Language – French is what I am thinking currently. Maybe because my sister was trying to learn it or because I saw Phoebe speaking French in Friends and it sounds super-sexy 😛 But more importantly because I love languages and the ring they have when spoken well.

10. Exercise, Meditate, Pray – Taking care of my mind and my body. I have been going for walks every evening and that is the first step to keeping my body healthy. Prayers and meditation give peace to the mind. It is a conversation with your own inner self and also some time to free your mind from all the turmoils.

11. Become a Better Person – I added this point a week after I wrote this post. There is a scope for improvement no matter what. In my case, there are lots. My first area of focus will be putting ideas into action. Reproduction of my bucketlist itself is an example. I want to make the Earth a better place. I do have ideas. I lack the funds and I am not organized enough to make time and plan things. This particular point should help me achieve all those other ten points. I need to act on this one. I will!

 

I listed pretty much the same stuff last year and I have reproduced the list again here. Except, I am going to make an execution plan this time. It will surely be better then I hope. So what are your goals for 2017? 😀

A Spark of Inspiration

100 Happy Days – Day 56

Happiness is when someone says that you inspired them 🙂

The other day, a friend I recently met in the blogosphere told me that I had inspired him. Something in my blog helped him overcome writer’s block. I felt elated to have been able to ignite a tiny spark of inspiration.

That particular day I was doubting myself. I wondered whether anything I wrote made any sense, whether my blog served any purpose apart from listening silently to all the gibberish I fed it. The answer came to me in that particular message. I know that many things I write here may not make any sense. But some of them, once in a while, did make some difference. Those were my treasured goals.

There was another such moment that I could never forget. Beginning of this year, I had written a post Tips and Ideas for Inexpensive Gifting where I had made a list of inexpensive things you could gift your loved ones. In two days’ time I got a Facebook message;

A message

A post with my quilled creation inspired her to create. 🙂

Whether it is about inspiring to take up something, giving a tiny push, helping with a decision or even giving some food for thought, knowing that I have brought about a tiny, positive change keeps me going.

Hope I will be able to spread more smiles and bring about more positive changes. 🙂

The Guiding Light in my Family

What do you understand by growing into a better and more self-reliant person? I believe it is about:

• Understanding our capabilities,
• The shortcomings that pull us away from our capabilities and,
• Finding out methods to overcome those shortcomings.

When we have the right guidance, when there is a hand holding and guiding us, it becomes much easier. For instance, as a little child, I was always shy and timid, but had many talents. If not for the right guidance, I would still be at my home, scared to venture into anything and be dissatisfied with my life. It all had to begin with removing that timidness and instilling the confidence within me.

My first inspiration is always my Mother. She is independent, smart, brave and knows almost about everything. We used to live in the interiors of the town and Amma was the first lady to ride a scooter there. Everyone knew her, if not by her name, by the caption, ‘the lady with the scooter’.

She knew my talents. She knew that I had a flair in music, in drawing, art and craft, in writing etc. From I was a child, she used to take me for all those tuitions and extra activities, wait until my classes got over and took me back home. But after a point of time, she knew that it was time for the baby bird to fly on her own. She was so independent that she wanted me to be so too. That is how she asked me to go on my own for my tuition, music lessons, drawing classes, sometimes to school when I missed the bus. At a very early age, unlike my other classmates, I felt comfortable travelling by bus. I was proud of myself.

This was followed by her teaching me how to ride the scooter. She didn’t have to try much, for I was a fast learner. Years after that, when I joined the article-ship firm, I was the first female in my office to come by scooter, stay late during the peak seasons for work and go for out audits in my scooter. Soon, others followed pursuit and the shed had an equal number of bikes & scooters.

Some of the guys in my office asked me,
“It must be difficult for you right? You don’t have a brother. So, you will have to go for buying the groceries and paying the bills. At home, I am the one who takes care of running around. I give no trouble to my sisters.”
But that wasn’t how I thought of it. There was one time when I went to purchase a month’s supply for home. I had about 5-6 bags which I couldn’t bring on my own in my scooter. I left my scooter in the supermarket, flagged an auto, went home, left the bags there, came back in the same auto, picked my scooter and got back home. I felt proud.

Sometimes, when I saw some of my colleagues, I was glad I wasn’t them. One of them had to go to a place barely 4Kms away for work purpose. Since her dad dropped her off and picked her up always, she had no idea how to go. It did not end there. She wasn’t willing to try going on her own, she wasn’t willing to listen to any directions, created so much of a raucous that the entire office knew about it. I won’t blame her. I would have been the same had I been in her place.

Had I been in a conservative environment, or if my mother wasn’t my mother, I’d not have been who I am now. She sensed my talents, helped them grow and after a point, she taught me how to nurture them and let me find my path. 🙂

This post is a part of Happy Hours campaign by Indiblogger. Linking it to  http://www.hdfclife.com/.