The Lord’s Laments

Today, as I was browsing through Facebook, a series of satirical quotes caught my attention. The author portrays how certain religious beliefs scream irony so much so that even God is flabbergasted. But, we humans do not question them because come on! We go to hell if we do. And no! You don’t need to know where Hell is. One simply does not ask such questions.

The series were named ‘Daiva Vilapangal’ or God’s Laments by one Mr. Mahesh Haridas. Each one of them focusses on The Lord Almighty’s worries and how he must be lamenting about them.

All credits for the idea and images go to Mr. Mahesh Haridas. Those who know Malayalam, can check the post here. For the rest, I have given the translations below. I apologize in advance for my inability to give the exact translation.

The Lord’s Lament 1

The Lord is in distress. He received crores of money in the form of offerings and the last date to pay his tax dues is fast approaching.


Should The Lord pay taxes? But isn’t he the one who created us and the entire universe? Then why would he pay tax? Does it mean that he is dependent on the government and that he has to abide by the laws and regulations? So, the law makers are above God, right?

The Lord’s Lament – 2


The God of Death, Yama decided to give our Lord a treat for having helped him meet his targets. As usual, all the killings on Earth was in the name of God.


I have my God and you all have to follow my God. No! Your God isn’t the real one. We protect our God and if you do anything to tarnish his image, you will be facing us.

And so we fight and die. Now, if we die, who will protect our God? He will perish without us. Oh dear!

The Lord’s Lament – 3

On a closer look at Earth, he saw that the walls were all covered with messages and quotes in his name and he wondered, When on Earth did I say all that?

“You shouldn’t love the same gender. Why do you think I created two genders? I would have created males alone or females alone if it was allowed. I decide whom you love. Alright?”

“Menstruating women shouldn’t enter certain places of worship. It infuriates me and my wrath will be upon you!”

“Are you a Hindu marrying a Christian? Henceforth, I do not want to see you. I prohibit your entry into my home.”

“Share my picture on Facebook. Else, you will hear a bad news in 2 hours and will have bad luck for the next 10 years.”

God – Whaaaaat!? Someone is impersonating me!

People – Oh shut up! You aren’t the real God. Real God says things like those. ^_^


The Lord’s Lament – 4

An arrest warrant for God. Due to the fireworks conducted to please The Lord, hundreds lost their lives.


“Um… tell me how people died, again? Er… was I supposed to watch the fireworks? I was enjoying my Pizza.”

The Lord’s Lament – 5

The Lord was the judge and he gave away prizes to the committee members who played movie songs the loudest, to entertain him during the festival.


“Hey! Can someone play that song from the latest Rajnikanth movie? I like that guy! 😀 ”

The Lord’s Lament – 6

The establishment made in the name of God, without his knowledge, was destroyed and in its place, another building was constructed again in the name of God. He looked at these humans and said, “(Damn!) I should have planted some plantains in their place.”


Some of them are equally hilarious and disturbing. For instance, the last one. According to some, if one doesn’t belong to their religion, one is not religious at all. I personally know people who believe so.

Some of the comments on these posts said that festivals and fireworks weren’t for God’s entertainment but for ours. The question is, if certain entertainments cause trouble and nuisance, is it necessary in the name of religion? Will we lose anything by reducing some of the festivities? This is my opinion and I know you will have yours. I respect that. But the answer ‘This has been followed for years and this should continue’ is too vague and unsettling.

To believe or not to believe is up to people. But stereotyping the God you have never seen and expecting people to follow your version of it, manipulating religious practices as per your convenience, using fear as a tool to get things done in the name of God only depicts the crookedness of human minds.

Your God is your conscience. Your version of God need not tally with everyone else’s version. As long as your deeds do not hurt anyone physically or mentally, you are worshipping your God right.

How different, peaceful and beautiful the world would be if each one of us minded our own business, ensured that we did not hurt our fellow beings through words or deeds, and extended our hands when someone was in need?

Featured image courtesy:

PS – I am not an athiest. I am religious in my own way yet, that doesn’t stop me from questioning certain beliefs. I do not have any grudge towards any religion. If the mention of any names hurt your sentiments, I apologize. It wasn’t intentional. Meanwhile, some of the sentences explicitly display my belief and I do not apologize for those. To know the difference, you may ask me. Thanks 🙂

I seek answers…

Doubts are a part of everyone’s life. And so do I have questions. Let me warn you. Really weird ones. But I guess they are genuine. Forgive me if some of the doubts sound arrogant but I really have pondered a lot about them each time ending at the same point I started. And finally I decided to pen them down.

  • What are feelings made of?

There’re 3 states of matter – solid, liquid and Gas. There are 5 elements- Earth, water, fire, air, ether. Skin is related to earth, Nose is related to air, tongue is related to water, eyes are related to fire and ear is related to ether. And what about feelings and emotions? Do they have a state?
In case of negative feelings, if it were liquid or gaseous it could’ve been diluted, wiped, sprayed at or absorbed. If they were solid, they could be burnt or thrown away. In case of positive feelings, they could’ve been stored or reused. But god is the ultimate;
Firstly, emotions don’t come under any of these categories and hence none of this can be done.

Secondly, no one knows under which category it comes. Coz then, man will find a solution to wipe or increase his emotions. If emotions could be changed, everything will. Coz it’s the only thing apart from time that’s not in man’s control.

  • Can a soul be cut into two when a body is cut?

This question mainly refers to earthworms. In Hindu mythology it’s believed that all living beings have soul. And the soul is reborn due to a cycle of Karmas. In Biology we’ve learnt that when an earthworm is cut into many pieces (greater than 1/6 mm if I’m not wrong), each piece becomes alive.
My question is, do those many numbers of souls come from nowhere and occupy the bodies or does one soul get cut into many? In either case how on earth does it happen? (Interesting na :D)

  • When we pray to one god, doesn’t the other god get upset?

Keeping apart the theory of one supreme god, and coming once again to Hindu mythology, we have 33 crores of gods, goddesses and demi gods and godesses. When we pray or do pooja to one or two gods, won’t the other gods be angry or sad? I mean when I go to temple, when I put a coin in one Hundi, I put another in the next too (that god will feel bad na) and next and next till I put for all 😀
No games with Gods.

  • Do some of the offerings to god actually please them?

One day I offered Kumkum archana to godess. On my way back I wondered if it really pleased them? I mean if a heap of kumkum was put over my head, I’ll probably die sneezing (I have a terrible bout of allergy). For that matter doing abhisheka with milk, ghee, water etc just imagine pouring ll this thrice -or as many times people offer – a day!

Probably Gods do like it. That’s why they’ve not reacted yet.
PS: Do Gods have dust allergy?

  • If mind or thoughts can travel from place to place in milliseconds, why can’t people?

If a person here can in milli seconds think of his relative’s house in US or his trip to Canada, see the places he’d visited a hundred times, couldn’t it be possible that he can go there in flesh and blood within that time?

  • Is there a parallel dimension apart from what’s there now?

I had read somewhere about 7 dimensions. Another dimension where there’re another set of people whom we can or cannot see and who can or cannot see us. The idea sounds scary (though I don’t know why). And if the idea is true, there’s still a vast area unexplored by mankind.

From childhood I had so many doubts. I’d be coming up with more doubts soon. Till then please break your heads over this and give me some solutions if you are sure of it. Good day 🙂