Changing The Way We See Equality Improves Life

So tell me. Do you believe in equality? Do you believe that two things on this Earth or beyond can be absolutely equal with not even a tiny, minuscule difference?

If the answer is yes, I would like to know two things that according to you are absolutely equal (Something measurable of course!). Because my answer is No and I am open to disagreements. Let me elaborate my views on this.

Can you say for sure that two 1 Liter bottles of water are exactly 1 liter each to the last measuring unit? There would be a very slight difference for sure don’t you think? Consider the weighing blocks themselves that we rely so much on, to weigh groceries and household products. Can you for sure, say that a weighing block will weigh exactly 1 Kg to the last measuring unit? It could weigh 99.9999999999 grams or 1000.000000000000000000001 grams.

Do these weighing blocks weigh exactly as they say they do?
Do these weighing blocks weigh exactly as they say they do?

Absolute equality is a myth. There might be a one in a million chance to achieve absolute equality. But we’ll never know because we really cannot measure the decimals to their exact value. We do not know where exactly 999 grams end and 1000 grams begin. Does it end after 999.9999 or after 999.999999999? There is no end to the number of nines you put there.

You might be wondering where I am going with this. We strive to achieve equality in many ways, in many areas in our lives. And it is when we strive to achieve equality that we begin to keep scores, we strive for perfection and seek to take revenge. I’d like two discuss two areas here:

Gender equality

It is impossible for women and men to be equals. I used to believe in it once but not anymore. I wouldn’t say that one gender is superior to the other. It all depends upon people and circumstances. Among so many scenarios, I could list down a few reasons why men and women cannot be equals:

  1. This is something basic I have observed. No two men are equal. How can we expect a man and a woman to be equals?
  2. For many women, menstruation is a pain. It gets really bad for a few that it affects their performance. It is a real issue and one cannot deny it. Meanwhile, other women have it easy with barely any pains and right there, we ourselves can see differences within the same gender.
  3. Men have penis and women have vagina (I know! It is no rocket science). The organs and the related hormones, thought processes, the mind, they all work entirely differently. They derive pleasures differently. As a result they think differently. How could there be equality between two genders that have so many differences?
  4. To add to all this, the society has moulded our mindsets in a certain manner that we are all taught dos and don’ts differently. Even if this wasn’t the case, even if we were all taught to think alike, the difference in bodies and hormones suffice to disprove equality between the two genders.

Equality is a subjective word and when feminists fight for equality, they do have a point to an extent. Let’s not get into details here. That being said, one cannot claim that both the genders are equal in all respects. There is no absolute equality.

Relationships

This is the second aspect I’d like to discuss. No two people in a relationship put in equal efforts to maintain the relationship. There is always that one person who gives more. This is because as I mentioned earlier, no two people are equal. Most of the relationship issues stem from various forms of inequality:

  • A believes he/she is giving more than B, while the latter refuses to agree or acknowledge it.
  • A assumes that B needs a certain something and keeps giving lots of it, while B doesn’t even like it and refuses to respond. An element of inequality is created here as A gives so much and B feels unsatisfied.
  • A believes that it is B’s duty to give and that it is not an act worthy of acknowledgement or applause.

    Is absolute equality in relationship attainable?
    2. Is absolute equality in relationship attainable?

If you are in a relationship and face problems, you could, most of the times correlate it to a form of inequality. It need not always be a romantic relationship. In any form of human encounter, there is a certain amount of giving and taking not just in the form of things, but words, gestures etc. Whenever there is a clash or disagreement, there is an element of inequality.

Finding the point of inequality and addressing it could solve many of the issues that we face. As for the question I asked you in the beginning, I believe nothing in this universe could be exactly equal. All we can do is to reduce the inequality. Life will be easier if we strive to reduce the inequality rather than strive to achieve equality. They are two different things that give two different results and different levels of satisfaction.

So what do you think? Is it possible for two people to give in a relationship absolutely equally? Is absolute equality achievable in any scenario? I am open to more thoughts on this. 😀

Image courtesy: Weighing Blocks, Image 2

Some Inappropriate Things

Read Some Inappropriate things  – 1 here


That week, a movie had been the reason for his visit. He visited again the next week, this time because he had to buy some new clothes for himself. During a few earlier visits too, she had helped him pick his clothes. It had become their ‘thing’ now. If he wanted to buy new clothes, she would accompany him and help him pick. It went like this,

“Hey! I need to buy a new jacket.”

“Okay. When can you make it?”

“Next Saturday?”

“Sure!”

This was followed by his visit the very next week to enquire something about his exams at the University. So, they met again. His visits were becoming more and more frequent, she noticed.

That day, they had their lunch in a mall and were on their way to the parking lot. They got into a packed elevator. He went in first and stood right behind her. As the elevator closed and began its descent, she could hear him breathe. Hard, fast and loud as though every moment in that elevator was a torture for him. She wondered what was going on in his mind. The next time the elevator opened, she motioned him to follow her.

“What was happening in there?”, she asked him.

“What?”

“You. You were hyperventilating. What was that? I could hear you breathe so loud. I bet everyone in there could.”

She was leading him down the stairway. He hesitated before he answered.

“I – I – You were right in front of me, so close, the scent of you, your hair, it was difficult.”he said, refusing to make eye contact. Somehow, it didn’t come off as a surprise to her.

“I don’t think we should keep meeting so often”, was her reply.

“Why not?”

“It just doesn’t feel right”

She noticed that the staircase was empty and something made her increase her pace down the stairs.

“What is wrong in meeting once in a while?”

She increased her pace further.

“And why are you running? It is as though you fear me!”, he added

She ignored him.

“So where are you going next?” she asked.

“Home. Mom wants to visit my uncle and I should be there by 4 PM to take her there.”

She slowed down as they approached the last floor of the building. 

“Ahh! It is already 3.40pm and you have around 35 Kms to your home. I hope people don’t discover that you are ‘The Superman.’”

He smiled. She liked his smile when he enjoyed her witticisms and before she could even bask in the glory of her successful jest, he caught her unguarded and pushed her lightly against the wall of the staircase and planted a kiss on her cheek. As her initial shock wore off, he relaxed his grip on her and she punched him hard. A couple more punches and she ran out into the parking spot, amidst people.

It was all over in a flash and her heart was pounding loud and hard. She feared he could hear the thumping. Or even worse, she feared her heart would just smash through her ribs and fall off. She wondered if she should punch him again, there, in front of all those people. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea. She glared at him furiously as he walked towards her rubbing his arm where she had punched him. He had that ugly smirk on his face.

“Stop smiling! Else, I’ll punch you again!” she said. He tried but just couldn’t stop smiling. If anything, his smile just grew wider. He had always wanted this. So many times had he imagined holding her and kissing her like that and more. But no imagination came even close to how it actually felt kissing her. It was difficult for him not to smile.

Some Inappropriate Things - A Kiss
Some Inappropriate Things

“Totally worth it! If you had slapped me, even that would have been worth it.” he said, that smirk of sweet victory dancing on his face, yet again. She wanted to wipe that off his face with another punch, right there and break that little proud nose but thought better of it.

I will be the wine that you’ll never taste. She had told him once.

“You will so regret this.” saying so, she stormed out.

I won’t talk to him ever again. Not if he apologizes, not if he begs. That should teach him a lesson. That would teach him not to meddle with his friends like that.

She had made up her mind. She wanted to make him regret his folly. She wanted to make him understand how wrong he was.

The human mind is like the Universe. Vast, unexplored beyond a certain extent, full of possibilities and surprises. We think we have figured things out when a new theory would emerge contradicting the existing ones. We think we know ourselves very well. But there comes a point in our lives when we would end up surprising ourselves.

Something fluttered inside her stomach as she was on her way back. Her heart was still pounding. It is amazing how we almost never notice its presence. But during moments like these, the heart is like a caged, wild animal. She couldn’t get that moment out of her head. The deftness with which he pushed her against the wall and the gentleness with which he kissed her. How could one be so strong and yet so gentle at the same time?

No! I shouldn’t be thinking of it. It was wrong. I should be angry with him. I am. And I would make sure he regrets it.

Yet, her thoughts wandered to him, to that staircase. That wall behind her, his fingers holding her, those soft lips against her cheek, the initial jolt, the moment of the realization, the struggle…

The first thing she did once she reached home was to enquire if he had reached safely. “It felt good meeting you again.” she typed.

No! I was supposed to be angry. Dammit! I am angry!

“Except the last part. I am still angry.” She added and hit the send button. That should do it for now. She closed her eyes, remembered that kiss and smiled to herself.

Why on Earth did some inappropriate things feel so so so good?


To be or not to be continued…

Image courtesy –  Deviant Art