Let’s Look at Our Parents Without The Capes

 

 

Remember that time when you made a mistake, your parents told you that you were wrong, maybe a bit too harshly but then again, poured honey on your wounds, kissed the pain away and then completely forgot about the mistake?

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That is what they are supposed to do. Because you were just a child and children need guidance. You were new to childhood and that meant making mistakes.

Would you have done the same as easily, if they had made a mistake?

Maybe. Maybe not!

But why?

Because they are parents. Grown ups! They are responsible for another human.

But aren’t they new to parenting?

A couple of weeks back, my mother told me something along the lines of, ‘Maybe the decisions I took for you were wrong.’

That got me thinking. Maybe she was wrong, maybe not. But I couldn’t blame her if they were. She was only being a mother and doing what she thought was the best for me at the time. How many times have we thought that our decisions were perfect when we made them only to realize that they weren’t? Every parent has his/her child’s best interests at heart. They wouldn’t do anything to sabotage their child’s life. That being said, they aren’t geniuses at parenting. They are new to parenting as much as children are new to being children. Then why is there an unfair expectation and pressure for parents?

I am referring to those situations where they did make an error of judgement, we did tell them a bit too harshly that they were wrong and instead of pouring honey on the wounds, kissing the pain away and forgetting it, people kept pricking the wounds reminding them of the mistakes they made.

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I am referring to the society’s unfair expectations from parents. Our unfair expectations from them where they are expected to be perfect, where they are under pressure to be THE role models who just cannot afford to make mistakes and if they do, they aren’t allowed to forget those mistakes for a long long time.

I am referring only and only to those decisions that they made out of love rather than out of any other social elements.

And we aren’t even aware of this pressure because it is normal. We expect them to have the answers and to do the right thing. We have been forcing them into a cape and a Super-hero suit while they have been struggling to fit into the role for which they have never gotten any training. But guess what? It is high time that we the children of all ages realize that parents are humans just like us. If they have the superpowers we thought they had, many of the them wouldn’t watch helplessly as their children struggle in pain. I remember the look in my mother’s eyes as I was struggling with an unnatural stomach pain and she had done everything she could to reduce it, but yet I was suffering.

 

We think they are Super-humans and so their minor mistakes seem huge to us. But instead, we need to realize that they are mere mortals, and then look at the magnificence of the things they did for us. The things we thought they did because they were Supermoms and Superdads, they did them being simple humans. THAT takes them to a whole new level. 

So from now on, maybe we should go easy on them.

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To all the parents,

It is okay.

We love you.

To all the Mothers, and the Fathers handling the maternal role,

Happy Mother’s Day.

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So do you think there is an unfair pressure on parents? How can we rectify that?

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For our Supermom!

It’s been a while since I have been thinking of writing this- The most beautiful & never ending tale of a mother 🙂

If asked to talk about their mother, every child would think, ‘Where to begin?’, because I have no idea where my memories of her began. But if I were asked to sum up my mom in one word, it would be ‘Supermom!’ And my sister would agree with that too.

Right from when I was a kid, if I needed to fix anything, the first thought that came to my mind was ‘Amma could do it. I’ll wait for her to come.’ She is like a magic potion. With time, the thought was spontaneous.

Since I started using , I have the crazy habit of venturing into new roads & discovering new paths (which I – later realised -had inherited from my mom). If, at any point of time I lost my way, I’d stop my lavy, pick up my phone and dial my mom’s number and she’d show me the way out. If I get stuck in a problem, I’d call her, she’d tell me the mantra and then I’m out. Sometimes, she just tells me ‘Give me some time; I’ll get back to you.’ And the next call from her will mean that she has magically fixed it. Amma! How do you do that!? :O

My sister here says, ‘I always ask for my school project things at the last moment & Amma finally somehow oppikals it even if it’s too late! Everytime! She must be upgraded to ‘Mega Super mom’ I feel’ 😛

Her colleagues too have the same impression about her. Every work that she takes up, is beyond perfect, is always appreciated and when it comes to organizing anything at her office, my supermom is always in charge! (Yeah I’m really proud of her). 😀 I always dream of being her. As perfect and confident, magically conjuring up solutions, the spontaneous presence of mind, myriad ideas and skills. Talking about skills, she is superb at art – stone works, paintings, gravel work, garment designing etc and so we definitely had our more than fair share of ‘mom touch’ in our projects ;).

When it comes to being mom, like every mother, even my mom had her ups and downs bringing me up. When I look back, I have been to music classes, spiritual (bal vikas) classes, guitar classes (I sucked at it), painting classes (Got a funny story there 😀 Will say some other time), tuitions, sai samiti for bhajans etc. I really do not know how she managed to take me everywhere in spite of having her share of workload, tensions & worries. I am given the best education a student could get, I am given the maximum freedom a girl could get (And I have never misused it) and lots of love a child could get.

Our relationship has been very much transparent. Being the good & obedient child I am (Seriously!), my mom exactly knows what I want. And she gives it to me. If at some point of time, she refuses any of my requests, I pressurise her no further because my mom’s ‘No’ is valuable. It means danger and for all the ‘Yes’ I have got so far, a ‘No’ doesn’t hurt. It isn’t further questioned. 🙂

And sometimes, we become her mom too. We scold her if she doesn’t listen to us and scold her more if she talks back :P. Like the other day, she had been ill and she wanted to go for work. We forbade her and she spoke back & I got all the more angry. But anyway she went :|. She’s not so good at being our daughter :P. Mom, you should improve there. 😀

Since last month, my sister & I were planning about what to give her for mother’s day. We- as usual- wanted it to be special. So we thought of the mugs printed with our photos & writings which we ourselves could design in Zoomin, but the time for placing orders had lapsed. Then we thought of certain other things by when I fell ill yesterday. We decided to buy it today, but after attending a marriage & classes, my illness has increased and as usual, our ideas didn’t work out. Finally, we settled for this.

Dear Amma, we wanted to give you something special- something that we made or that would tell how special you are to us. Something that would last long, that you can always keep and that which always reminds you of us. That you could show someone and say, ‘That was given to me by my daughters’. This is one such a thing. These are our feelings. It is very very very difficult to express what you mean to us. I am literally teary eyed while writing this now but these words can’t show them. I mean to say that words are limited to show you what is in our mind. But you will always be special & ever loved. You are our wealth worth the biggest number for which we need not pay any tax :D. We love you so much.