An Open Letter to My Cousin

Dear Cousin,

It has been 30 years. 30 years!

We had weaved dreams after dreams. We had pinned our hopes to the next closest milestone. And the milestone kept going farther away. Now you are married. Married and gone so far away that we have quit making plans. And yet, a flicker of hope escapes me and manifests in the form of a wish. Bangalore. Goa. Pondicherry.

Cousins are supposed to be your first best friends. But things never were in favour of our bonding and the lack of it caused enough damage in our relationship. In spite of all that, there was this underlying connection between us that kept holding us together.

Remember when you used to come home? You never wanted to leave and I never wanted you two to go. I would cry after you left. It was a consistent ritual. Every time you left, I would sit in a corner and cry.

We used to plan vacations after vacations. But nothing manifested. We thought things would change when we grew up. They did. We were further apart. So much so that you seemed almost unreachable to me. Things have been said and done, and forgotten. But that yearning to be together always remained.

And then you got married, and vanished. For about a year, I thought I had lost you completely. Yet here we are, trying to mend the gaps and tend to the cracks. Here we are learning to dream again. You trying to reach out, me trying to pull you out.

Let me dare make a wish again. Let us rewrite our childhood. Let us escape for a weekend. Just the few of us. Let us go back to that childhood we dreamt of having together. For old time’s sake. To prove to ourselves that some things can be achieved no matter how late they are.

This wish is all I have for you, for now, on your Birthday. Next time we meet, we will celebrate both our 30th Birthdays together. 🙂 Until then,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMYA

Note: This letter is dedicated to all the cousins who loved each other’s company and gradually lost track of each other with time. If you are one among them, maybe, just maybe you could talk to them, renew the spark and get things going, once again.

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Letters, Rains, Books, Conversations – A Friendship

100 Happy Days – Day 88

Happiness is friendship in rain, with book, through letters and conversation.

It was 6.50 am. The queue began from the first floor, stretched through the staircase to the ground floor and out. I was on the staircase closer to the first floor. I heard Carnatic music emanating from the room filled with 50-60 youngsters; CA students. A guy with curly hair and sacred ash on his forehead emerged from the crowd, took out his phone and answered the call, cutting off the Carnatic music.

I walked into the classroom after my registration. A friend gestured me to come forward, for he had saved a seat for me. As I took my place beside him, I looked around to get acquainted with my neighbours and there he was, right in front of me. I glimpsed a drawing in his notebook. A rough sketch of Lord Shiva. There was a Shloka written next to it. I asked him about it and as he explained it, I made a mental note to read more on it. But soon, I forgot. I must ask him again. Or maybe, he’ll tell me if he reads this. 😉

*****

In a while, Gopikrishnan, the guy with the Bhasma on his forehead and immense love for Carnatic, and I became friends and then, there was no looking back.

We have these deep conversations at times, but we could easily talk silly too. They happen very rarely; maybe twice or thrice a year. But, it doesn’t matter. It is easy to pick up from where we had left. But mostly, we don’t have to pick up from where we had left. We could simply start a conversation with absolutely no back history.

During one such conversation, we realised that both of us loved writing letters. From then on, we started exchanging handwritten letters. (Heck! That was when I realised that most of the post boxes never functioned.) Whenever I saw the blue inland letter waiting for me in the hall, I knew where it came from. Sometimes, I’d tear it open right away. Sometimes, I’d keep it safely and opened it when I could read it peacefully.

Each of your friends add value to your life in different ways. Gkris, as he calls himself, prods my inner consciousness through our conversations and letters. The things he says, give new perspectives to my thoughts. His words have the power to make me see new things, take me to a new world where things needn’t really work as per a set of rule books.  There is a spiritual connection underlying our friendship and this is what makes it special.

While we spoke about so many things, bonded over books, music, movies, poems, quotes, ideologies and TV shows, we couldn’t meet. When I was free, he never came to my place. When he came, I wasn’t here. And so, after  three long years, it was time to meet.

*****

I picked him up from a common point and we stood there and spoke, oblivious to the place and the time. After a lot of discussions, we decided to go to a mall though we preferred a peaceful place amidst nature. On our way, the rain beat down from nowhere. Though we took shelter initially, the next time we were on the road, the rain couldn’t stop us. Both of us being rain lovers, decided to embrace the drizzle and continued. After a while, I heard him laugh ever so softly.

“What is it?”, I asked.

“You don’t want to know.”

“Now I do. Tell me!”

“Your hair brushes against my face every now and then. Um… and the smell. It smells so good.”

“I know”, I said.

“What is it with Women’s hair really? What smells so good? It isn’t Shampoo.”

“I don’t know. But I agree, it does smell good.” 😀

(The conversation ended there. It was later on that I got to know about Pheromones and remembered this conversation we had.)

Mall is a sad replacement for these rains, I thought. But not after we entered the mall and veered into the crossword book-store. Time flew as we bonded over books. Well read as he was, he showed me the books he liked, he suggested me some, he narrated some of the stories, his eyes twinkled as he described his book-shelf; a mini library.

During the conversation, he picked two books that I hadn’t read and asked me to pick one for myself. I was over-whelmed for that was the first time someone was gifting me a book. I asked him to choose since I had no clue about the two. He gave a gist of both the books and asked me to choose. Since both seemed interesting, I picked one randomly.

Later, as I was sipping a cup of tea, he spoke of his wanderlust, his experiences, and experiments during his journeys. He suggested places I’d like and he described beautiful sights. His plate was empty and yet, I was sipping my tea. He took the book he gave me and scribbled something in it. As he handed me the book, he said, ‘I have underlined some sentences in this book. Don’t read it beforehand.’ and I kept my word.

I returned home that day with the satisfaction you get only after you meet a close friend. When some people say goodbye and leave, we feel low. But when I dropped him off, I didn’t feel sad. Our bond wasn’t made through meetings. It was through words, letters and conversations. As long as the letters were exchanged, the conversations continued and music prevailed, this bond would exist.

While there are those friendships; the ones with lots of backstories of trips, heartbreaks, jokes, pranks and much more, there are some friendships that are subtle yet deep in their roots. One isn’t better or worse than the other. As I mentioned earlier, every friend adds value to you. One need not meet them or talk to them often, face tough or funny situations with them or go on trips. Probably, there are just a few silent moments together, just a few stray words exchanged. The bond speaks for itself.

This post has been written in association with Chaayos & Blogchatter on occasion of Friendship Day

16 Tips to Make Your Year Productive II

Fed up of making resolutions and dropping midway? Then chuck resolutions and prepare a set of achievable and interesting goals. By goals I mean, all those one time things you have always wanted to do.

The list is not exhaustive. You can read the first part of the post here and after reading the rest, decide on how you wish to make a difference in your life this year.

8. Own a Pet – I know lots of pet lovers who have always wanted pets, but never really got to owning them. I love dogs. But due to certain personal reasons, I can’t have one right now. So I have decided on owning a fish once I get a job. It took me a while to realise that this was an option. And here I am telling you, if you can’t own a cat or dog, you have other options – birds, fishes, a beautiful flower bearing plant. I know that the last one isn’t a pet. But keeping one in your room, watering it and watching it bloom isn’t a bad idea after all. A friend of mine did it last year with a marigold. 🙂 You know what? You should so name the plant!
Guys name her Cameron Diaz and say, guess who is waiting for me 😉
Girls name him Dwayne Johnson and say, Oh! The Rock needs me. Gotta go.
I bet you, the Harry Potter fans will name the plant Mathhew Lewis (Neville) or Tom Felton (Draco) 😉
Or they could name him Dobby and whisper threateningly, “Dobby! Get out of my room, now!”

Er… I got carried away. Moving on…

9. Take up a Charitable Activity – There are many kind-hearted people who wish to do something charitable and make a difference. Some do not have the time, some forget, some fear that their hard earned money may be misused. I’d say that we cannot understand the joy of doing something that makes someone happy until we do it personally.Go to an orphanage and mingle with the children. Go to an old-age home and give those aged people your time. Instead of giving in cash, give gifts and most importantly love to the aged and they will see their son/daughter in you. If you feel up to it, add this to your goals list so that you feel a bit more happy at the end of the year.

10. Go Somewhere Alone – I barely do this and I want to do it. And so, I have reason to believe that there are others like me. If you really wish to try this out, start with a place nearby. Go and spend some alone time there and then try a new place the next time. If you still feel like experimenting, do it as many times as you want until you are convinced about yourself. You will learn that you either despise the alone time or that the alone time is growing on you. 🙂 This is how you know yourself.

Walk with Yourself

11. Write Letters –  Have you experienced that surge of happiness when you find a hand written letter delivered to you? There are no intimations that say ‘typing…’, there are no blue ticks involved, no pressures to reply asap. You never know what or when or from whom you’d receive a letter. It is a piece of paper touched, held, and sealed by the writer personally. It carries his smell, the fingerprints, the imprint of pen & ink due to the pressure applied by him, and it is written earnestly since there is no hurry to reply asap. No blue ticks that urges him to write because the recipient knows that he has read the latter’s letter already. Write letters without forcing the recipient to reply fast. :)Sometimes, it will become a habit and this will be the year you began writing letters

12. For Creators – Whether you are a painter, writer, musician or a creator in general, you will have plans to create more this year. But it is possible that after a while the urge wares off and then you leave it. Make it a point to create something every month. At the end of the year, you have twelve of your masterpieces.

Hang a planner in your room and decide on what you will create. Carry a notepad around and jot down the ideas as and when they appear in your head. When you have free time and lack ideas, refer the planner & the notepad and create something beautiful. Don’t let the moss drown your talents.

13. Invest in Something You have Always Dreamt of Owning – If you aren’t interested in traveling, reading or shopping, point 1 could be used here. Is there something really expensive you have always wanted? Expensive things take time to reach you. You might be waiting for ‘some day’ when you will have all the money to own it. Instead, start now. Be it your dream house, car, instrument or an expensive course, start saving for it now! Let the dream turn into reality starting 2016.

14. Experiment! Body Art, Piercing, Hair Highlighting, weird hair styles – We have our body to experiment on. As long as it isn’t anything harmful, experimenting is fun. I’d like some ink, purple hair highlights & a couple more of ear piercings. What about you?

I know many friends who want to get tattoos & hair colors but refrain from them due to pressure from home. The most common reason I get is, ‘What if the guy I’m to get married to doesn’t like it?’

Here is what I have to say. If you want a tattoo, get one. If you don’t want, don’t get one. If someone else wants, it’s their right, let them have it their way.

15. Waiting for Someone Else’s Happiness – All the while, I was talking about our own happiness. There are those wonderful moments when something lovely happens to someone else and we are as happy as they are; A friend finally getting married or committed, a sibling or friend becoming a parent, someone getting a new job or their first salary, sibling graduating and much more. If this is the year that brings happiness to someone special, make note of it. Look forward to it. By the end of the year, you will definitely have some wonderful things to look back to.

16. Finally, For Those Who Cannot Find Enough Time – This is for really busy folks. I suppose you can find some time twelve times a year. Make a minimal & practicable list of things you’d like to achieve. Preferably twelve of them. If you have reading a book, traveling, meeting a friend in your list, according to your schedule, allocate a month for each activity and make it a point to stick to them. Even if you change the order of the plan, ensure that you keep doing something different every month. You will have a memorable year in the end. 🙂 For those who cannot afford twelve things, you can settle for six goals to be achieved over two months each.

You can have goals for anything below the sun, above the Earth and beyond. There is no end. I have prepared a very tiny list that pretty much accommodates the most common goals. It is just to give you an idea. Hope 2016 brings with it a lot of experiences and memories. Hope you keep yourselves busy, peppy & productive throughout the year; And when you look back in the end, I hope you have most of the items ticked from your ‘To-do’ list.

So what are you waiting for? It is already 15th of Jan. Convert your resolutions to goals. If you have more vibrant items to be added to this list, please let me know in the comments. We have many more years to come and I could do with more ideas and goals. 🙂

Tips and Ideas For Inexpensive Gifting.

Here is another year and there are many events coming up. How about getting prepared for them from now on?

Note – Here I am talking about inexpensive gifts which are available for INR 300 or LESS. So if you are looking for higher budgets, I am sure you will have many more options.

I love Birthdays, Mother’s Day, Friendship Day and any event that I could use to show someone how special they are to me. There is nothing like springing a “Surprise!!!” on their face and see it go pale to white to pink to a deep shade of red with happiness! 😀 Please don’t be misled by the post title. I am not going to point out items to gift. I’m giving you ideas about how to find the gifts you want and how to present it to your loved ones. Some times, the gifts do not matter, but the way you gift makes all the difference. The sad part is, surprises are costly. Specially if you’re a student or are doing internship with low salary. Well, not anymore! I am always in short of cash (I’m still a student, you know!) and try to find new methods to throw surprises. So, here is how I gave some lovely surprises last year.

1. Flowers – I don’t know about all men. But some men and almost all women like flowers. When it happens to be your mother, she would definitely be overwhelmed. The amazing thing about mothers is that, they do so much for us. Yet, they need so less to be happy. This is how you make her day special with flowers.Buy a few flowers or pluck some from your garden. Gather little children from your neighborhood and ask them to give her those flowers one at a time. If she is about to go out, the kids could line up outside your house and give her those flowers as she passes by, or let them ring the bell one at a time and give her the flowers. We tried it and my mom loved them. She preserved the flowers for as long as they stayed. 🙂

   

   Jarbara we bought Mom on her Birthday 🙂

   Note – Flowers can be gifted to anyone if you’re sure they will appreciate it. I mentioned Mom because, we gave it to her.

2. A Note For Every Hour – This works with anyone. Prepare notes with quotes or memories or anything you want to tell him/her. Ensure that the notes reach them every hour. It would be a reminder of how special they are and that they deserve a full day celebration.

   

   Image courtesy: pinterest

   

   Image courtesy: pinterest

   I did this for a friend’s birthday. I asked one of her colleagues to give her the notes every hour. I kept alarms on my phone for every hour, to remind her. Once the Birthday girl received each note, I got her message. 🙂

3. Common Inexpensive Gifts – Photo frames, Books, Deos, Diaries and Coffee mugs! I know. They are the most typical inexpensive gifts you can give anyone. If he/she happens to be a book lover, you can buy them a book that they would enjoy. If he/she has the habit of updating diaries, there are plenty of undated diaries available at reasonable prices. If he/she has a favorite brand of deo, they will be happy that you cared to remember. As for photo frames, find a lovely picture of the two of you and gift it.
4. Undated Diaries – Earlier this year, I had reviewed Matrikas Paper Products’ diaries. They have some elegant and creative undated diaries. The cover designs were so tempting that anyone would fall in love with them. They have diaries designed for all age group. If your giftee loves writing and maintains diaries, you can find good ones starting at INR 110. MATRIKAS PAPER PRODUCTS is their website and their products are available in Flipkart, Snapdeal, Zoffio etc.
5. Gifts Need Not be Branded – If you’re so desperate to gift someone something, that someone must be very special for you. Regardless of the fact that he/she uses only branded items, you can gift them something inexpensive for a change. After all, if they love you as much as you love them, they would get the emotions behind your gifts. Just ensure that you pick something beautiful even if it is unbranded. Be it wallets, belts, shoes, clothes or anything. You have a wide range of inexpensive things out there if you just let go of brands for once. Which brings us to the next point.
6. Lookout For Fancies – 2015 has just begun. You can keep your eyes open for all the beautiful and fancy stuff available. Last year, I did a lot of window shopping (Microsoft Windows :P) and found really pretty watches for just Rs. 300. There is no quality assurance or warranty. But once in a while, owning some random pretty stuff doesn’t harm. This friend of mine always buys quality and classy things. I thought she could do with some girlish, dangling, funky stuff. I gifted it to her and she loved it. Want to see it?

   

   This is the watch I gifted her.

   So lookout for the low priced pretty things. Even if the Birthday is a couple of months away, there is no harm keeping your eyes open.

7. A tiny party – You heard me right. If it is your friend’s, love’s or family member’s birthday, and you love them so much, you can actually give a party at a very low cost! Cake – If you need really good cakes, they cost a lot. And that was why, in my previous post, I had given a very easy recipe to make a cake. It’s out of biscuit and chocolate alone. Click HERE to read it.Lightings – You can prepare beautiful lamps out of orange peels. 4-5 orange lamps would suffice for the right glow. Here is what we made.

   

   One half of the orange peel

   

   Entire peel with designed cuttings

   You can use the oranges for preparing any delicacy of your choice. 🙂 Decorations – Colorful streamers are always in fashion and cost very less. Just find innovative ways of decorating with streamers.

8. Maintain a Wishlist & Lookout For Discounts – I get newsletters from many shopping sites and I visit them whenever there is a discount. I buy things only when I am convinced that the discounts are acceptable. That is how I found some lovely sarees worth Rs. 300 in May 2014. I bought them immediately when I had the money and gifted it to Mom for her Birthday in Dec. Needless to say, I was in short of money in Dec. All who saw the saree, loved it & thought that it was some expensive material (giggles :P). Another time, I bought a couple of handbags for just Rs. 150 and they came in handy when I had to gift a friend. 🙂 So, add something to your wishlist and you never know, during the next clearance sale, it might just shoot down to a very low price.
9. The Age Old Custom of Group Gifting – You all must be aware of this. But now that we are talking of gifts, I’d mention this. If you want to gift Mr. A something, contact his close friends, and if they are willing, pool some cash and buy something really good. When you all gift it together, you not only give him the gift, but also an overwhelming experience with his close friends around.
10. Gift Some Time – Imagine, on an anniversary, the couples decide to take some time off and spend the day together. As a child, your parents decide to stay home, cooks you some lovely dishes and takes you out. When your parents are old, you decide to take them somewhere and spend some time with them on their special day. Time is very very expensive. But we can easily lend some to our loved ones. It is simple and means a lot. Do try gifting some time.
11. Time With Creativity – You have many DIYs available on the internet. If you have a flair for creativity (which I believe most of us do have), take some time off and prepare something beautiful for your loved ones. Your loved ones would value your creativity more than the masterpiece they bought at an exhibition.This is one such gift I made for my Best Friend. My first attempt in Paper Quilling. 🙂

    

    Paper Quilled girl. It is full of adjustments 😛

    There are many creative things you can make and you wouldn’t believe how easy they are. Bookmarks, photo collage, simple paper quillings ets are few among them.

12. A Letter – With the advent of emails, internet and social networking sites, the art of letter writing has almost vanished. Buying cards and sending ecards are cool. But writing what you feel about them with a pen on a paper in your handwriting, THAT is priceless! Take a letter pad or an inland letter and write about how special they are and what you feel about them. Get hold of their address and post it. I wish you could see the smile on their face when they get hold of your letter. It would be a perfect gift & a perfect wish. 🙂
13. A Book of Wishes – You can gift a book of wishes to someone close. It would be the compilation of wishes from all their loved ones. Let me assure you, it is not an easy task. Many people would hesitate to write. But five wishes could make a book too. Trust me! If a letter in point 11 could give them so much of joy, imagine the joy on receiving a book of letters! 🙂

If I were you, I’d plan in advance for upcoming birthdays. But since I am myself, that is what I do. 😛 I get super-excited a month before birthdays and make all the arrangements. Things don’t go exactly as planned. For instance, we bought sky lanterns for Mom’s birthday and it became the King of flops. 😛 All the same, mom looked flabbergasted after every surprise. The purpose was served and so, I really don’t mind. Hope this list helps you. Please let me know if there are more inexpensive gifting ideas. I exhausted this list last year. I desperately need something new. 😉 And while you’re at it, ensure that only I know the plans & not my family ok? Shhhh… 😀

Letter 4: My Sister

My Rosta (Rockstar),

Where do I begin? Hmm… er… you weren’t picked up from the roadside. 😀 You know that I say so to annoy you. When I say I wish you were that little chubby baby, it doesn’t mean that I don’t like you the way you are now. It’s just that, you are taller than me which is an irony when I try to ‘cuddle’ my ‘baby’ sister. You know what I mean!?

I miss you. Though you are near me, your studies are killing me. I am craving for a sisters’ day out. I want to take you around Kochi, buy you the best delicacies, show you the best places, but either your studies or my studies come on the way.

I love it when we agree unanimously that an ad on TV is stupid & later when we make a spoof of it.

courtesy: http://www.frommyheart.org

I love it when we simply hum some songs, slowly sing it, gradually pick up the spirits & then scream on top of our voices as though we were giving a rock show.

I love the weird photos we click in weird poses. How we plan on clicking really crazy snaps. And how you click my odd pics & threaten to post it but never do so because you know I wouldn’t spare you 😉

No matter how old you are, you never stop being our little baby. The fuss, the tantrums & the fights on one side, at the end of the day, you come back for your share of hugs & kisses.

I like the look on your face when I call you cute names, you call me cute names, I go on & you are at a loss for names. And then you say, ‘Ohh, you always come up with so many cute names for me & I can’t’. Well, in fact I rack my brains for names so that finally I get to hear those lines from you. 🙂

I love it when you say, ‘Select a dress for me. I’m sure I’ll like it. :)’

The efforts you put to console me when I’m down, the jokes that you crack to make me smile, the way you take care of me when I’m sick, have I told you that I appreciate all that? Oh, I do.

Even after many years, I will love to choose the dress for you, give the matching accessories, dec you up, apply kajal & eyeliner, fuss over your bindi & send you for your party. I’ll always love to hug you & kiss you. I will say you were picked up from the side of the road. And if any person dares to touch you or tease you, they will be subjected to my wrath!

Courtesy: google images

PS: In any case, you can open my wardrobe only with my permission 😛

Love,
Bisista :*

 

This post is a part of a Letter writing challenge. A letter a day for 30 days. You can read the others from HERE.