How many of us have watched Bollywood and thought that Love was what they showed in movies? How many times have you been told not to voice your opinions because the other person may not like it? How many times have you seen body-shaming being normalized?
As we grow, there are some cues that we pick from the way society is. We think we need to put up with the shit because everyone is doing so. But that is not the case. We have every right to change the way things are. Here are some stark truths that will change the way you see life.
1. Somethings From Your Past Stay in the Past
There are somethings you never get back, some places you never go back to and some people you cannot be with after a certain point. You can always try. Try hard. But stop trying the moment you realize and accept that some things from your past belong there.
2. It is Alright to Let Go
Holding onto anything negative beyond a certain point gives you no peace of mind. It will eat you from within and suck your happiness. If you don’t enjoy it, don’t eat that food. Don’t be with that person. Don’t continue in that company. You will realize that you are more peaceful after you let go of negativity in your life.
3. You have never used the ‘What if I need it’ things that you put away for years –
Stop collecting or keeping useless things that consume a lot of space. Give away those shoes and clothes that you don’t wear. Throw away those tools and machinery that you know you won’t use but have kept simply because they was purchased. Most importantly, keep away those people who don’t add value to you in any manner.
4. Your Regrets Will Die Only when You Die.
With respect to an important decision in your life, if you make a choice based on family pressure, when things go wrong, you will suffer alone. Let’s face it! Your ties with people in this life end when they die and anything you did for their happiness wouldn’t matter in the long run. Eventually, you will be alone with your regrets for company. If you follow your heart, your family might disapprove at first but eventually they’ll come around.
5. Stop waiting for the sign.
This will hit you. You will wait for years for things to happen to you and then you’ll realize that you need to act upon an idea to make something happen. Want to paint? Go get those canvases and paints. Want to write? Start writing. Want to start a vine? Start making videos on your phone. Nobody started out from excellence! People started out from nothing, made mistakes, changed their methods and grew gradually.
If you keep waiting, next year this time you will regret that you did not start this year.
6. It is Okay to Quit
Imagine holding onto something for years, working hard for it, eventually losing interest in it and still holding on because you started and came this far? I have been there. That is when I decided to quit. Holding onto something that takes the life out of you is worse than quitting.
It is difficult at first. So think of a Plan B. Once you figure out a plan B that is satisfactory to you, tell yourself that it is okay to quit because Plan B seems more interesting than holding onto what you may not have. Repeat this affirmation and with time, you’ll learn to accept it.
7. Book and Movies Have Over-Romanticized Love
Movies have romanticized love to such an extent that people try so hard to please their loved ones. Get rid of the templates for love that movies have installed in your head. Understand the person before you and love a little like you want to love and love a little like he/she wants to be loved. Give your time. Voice your thoughts. Speak out your frustrations. Fight it out. Love again.
Love is unique not when you copy movies. It is unique when you love the way you do. Because you are unique to him/her.
8. Accept that every theory or principle can be challenged.
When someone brings a new idea that seems outrageous to you, it is normal for your brain to reject it. But once you get over the initial shock, try to think if there is even a remote possibility that he is right.
Try to have a conversation with him NOT to prove him wrong, but to understand where his idea is coming from and how that could add value to you. This is how you grow. There will always be new theories to disprove the old ones.
9. Embrace the So Called ‘Flaws’
Most of the people are body shamed. The ‘flaws’ in the eyes of other people will always be flaws. You cannot change that. Instead, when someone body shames you, let them know that you are aware of how others think you have a flaw but that doesn’t affect your core. That it doesn’t make any difference in your daily life with respect to your health or performance. Show them that you’ve embraced those ‘flaws’. Say it. Say it loudly, clearly and confidently.
10. Know the difference between being bulky/skinny and unhealthy.
Don’t hit the gym because someone called you fat. Hit the gym because you want to feel (I didn’t use the term look) healthy and fit. I have been struggling for years to exercise regularly. I recently realized that I was tiring faster, my days were sleepy and I was getting lethargic. I started Yoga again and I see the difference in my productivity.
Read up more on working out, follow pages and instagram accounts that focus on workouts. Pester your mind so much so that it gets restless and forces you to workout (or go to gym) regularly.
11. You Will Find People You Don’t Like Everywhere You Go
There might be people in your life whom you don’t like. And when you have to see them everyday, it’s difficult to keep them out of your life. During such situations, instead of focusing on the things you don’t like, try to find something in them that can help you. Make them into something useful to you so that being around them wouldn’t be all that negative. You will be tolerating them in exchange for a value addition. That’s nice!
These are some of the things no one tells us. We may or may not figure them out while we suck at adult-ing. But the earlier we realize these things, life will be much easier. So which of these caught your attention and which of these you think will be useful to you?
This post is a part of #MyFriendAlexa by Blogchatter