Causes · Women

Me – A Woman Pointed Away from Technology & Towards Kitchen

Two conversations were sufficient for me to realize that some of the educated people today, still lack the common sense to think for themselves.

Conversation 1

It was about booking an Uber. The app showed us that there were no cars available. Having used it many times before, I suggested a solution. The reply was a mocking smile and,

“This is the problem with women & technology.”

I felt like I had been slapped on my face. I looked at him open mouthed. He was someone close to me, educated and I’m sure he must have come across tech savvy women. Yet, this is what he said. Since the cab was our priority, I explained to him how to go about my suggestion. Soon, we were waiting for the cab. I told him softly that I was hurt when he said those words. I don’t think he understood how awful I felt, but all the same he apologized.

What about all those situations when men are equally ignorant about technology? I have come across many such instances. I have corrected men when they were wrong. Yet, I haven’t heard a comment that said ‘technology & men’. I ensure that I don’t mock people for their ignorance. Here the mocker was the ignorant one.

via meme generator
via meme generator

 

Conversation 2

I was discussing about my course with a relative (A man) and then the topic of family came up. I was told.

“You women should venture into the kitchen and take up some work.”

I said it wasn’t as easy as said. There are situations at home, I have classes & studies. Due to various other reasons, it isn’t possible for me to do all the work at home.

“Face the consequences. You ladies have to take up the household chores”, came the reply.

Probably, he was used to talking that way, rather than listening what the other person had to say. I didn’t want to worsen the argument and so I agreed and ended it.

I know many working women who wake  up early, prepare food for their husband, send them to work, then they go for work, return, do household chores, prepare dinner & clean up after the same. These days, men are helping too. But there are many houses where that doesn’t happen.

It goes thus, women ‘have to’ do the household chores while men ‘don’t have to’. We are still clinging on to age old customs without thinking logically. There is a limit for the human body to take up work & stress. Beyond that limit, the health gets affected which is partly why more women suffer from ailments than men. Most of my friends’ mothers have knee pains, low bone density, other joint pains etc compared to their fathers.

Woman Working - Silly Woman! That's not the kitchen.
via meme generator

Solution

Let us think logically. Our ancestors did restrict women from living their lives and so, their lifestyle was thus. Now that women are in every field, we should also lighten their burdens. Every family is different from the other. So based on your family, talk it out. Discuss how the burden could be reduced and shared if not equally, at least to an extent. It might be complicated at first. But gradually, you can work it out. Ultimately, the health & peace of mind of people around you is what matters.

Those who cannot be this open minded can marry women who aren’t ambitious rather than marrying educated women and squeezing the life out of them. If you are a parent who has a problem with a working daughter in law, find a daughter in law who prefers to be a house-wife. There are many such women. I respect them all equally. Forcing someone to become someone else is not the solution.

I am a CA student. I am capable of doing the chores at home & I actually like doing them. I love cooking, arranging & cleaning. But when I have classes or when my exams are approaching, studying for minimum 10 hours a day becomes necessary. People (relatives who don’t know how difficult CA is) ask me to do chores when I take a break. After studying for 2 hours, the only 15 mins break I take, I should work. Does that sound reasonable to you? Why isn’t that asked of the men who are pursuing the same course?

Both the conversations happened within a span of a month. Both are my relatives; well educated, know the strains and pains of a working woman, have worked with women colleagues. They see the lives of women, be it in the family or at work and yet, use tones that generalize women and phrases that adorned the women of 19th century.

If education and experience talks this way, what can I say about the rest of our country?

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30 thoughts on “Me – A Woman Pointed Away from Technology & Towards Kitchen

  1. Well-written 🙂
    How sickening is it to see the lettered ones behave this way 😦
    When is the society gonna realize the equality between the genders? When will they stop setting an empire for the women in the kitchen?
    A very socially relevant post 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi Ranjini,
    Good post! Even I have had such kind of moments many times. People advise me to ignore but I wonder if ignoring will bring about any change. I think even to ignorant people we should explain our stand and hope that they don’t go saying such things to other women as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. To people who aren’t socially active, we could explain. But when this is being said by literate and socially active people, they are already exposed to these problems. The truth is, they still hold on to the old rule books and refuse to change.
      Explaining wouldn’t help. We could only try 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Trust me when I say this – its not your problem.

    You do your thing and don’t let people get to you. Instead of letting their words hurt you, you work hard to prove them wrong. Success is always the best revenge.

    And surround yourself with people who respect what you do and don’t discriminate just because you are a woman. I am probably the most tech-y person among all my friends and my family. And if someone said “This is whats wrong with women and technology”, I would probably sucker punch them.

    I don’t like doing kitchen chores or cooking, and I like people who respect that. I earn well enough to hire people for all that stuff while I can focus on my work and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. Even marrying a guy won’t change that.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Exactly! Answering them or giving explanations wouldn’t work.

      Discrimination because we are women is still very much prevalent in every part of the country. In social media, people will give lectures. But when it comes to reality, the attitude is rooted in every person. It isn’t possible to take them out of the people.
      The solution is inculcating the idea in future generations.

      As long as we are independent, we needn’t bother. But if we are a part of a family or community, talks like these will keep surfacing.

      Like

      1. not at all Syrian ‘m here to help poor children the whole world is ignoring them I designed a video that will go to children of Syrian site advertising revenue very strange world The number of very little support I do not know what to say I’m feeling down:-( good night rangelz

        Like

  4. I relate to these. But then we are free birds and we will do as we please, silly us!! 😀 we are super women after all,we do it all. I think our country is changing a bit although, men are cooking delicious food and women are getting better at technology. 🙂 Lovely post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha silly us! 😀 Yes, the country is changing a bit and it will be gradual. But for us who are in the 21st century, it is difficult to know that people are still in iron age. Sometimes, we reach the boiling point.
      Thanks a ton for your views 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  5. As we know well, never listen to the relatives when they are judging 🙂
    They wanted me to study computer because all the boys were doing that or Engineering, and that course of BCA never saw its end 😀
    And about MA English, there is like one or two boys in the class – check the examples at any arts college; but here I am. MA English used to be for female students who wished to clear NET and become teachers because working time is fixed at 10 to 4 or 9:30 to 3:30; matrimonials seemed to prefer that 😀
    I personally don’t like to learn that much about technology; never been a fan of apps or mobiles. My cousin-sister knows them better 🙂
    Hence proven – “they know nothing” 😛

    There are times when similar things happened with one my cousin-sisters; she was like “ente veedaanu, njaan enikku thonnunna pole cheyyum” once like “enikku sowkaryam illa; venel poi case kodukku”; at another time, “ningal ente appan onnum allallo; appan kalikkanda” etc etc 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha you had me smiling broadly throughout this comment. Cousin sister aaloru puliyanu ketta! 😀
      And I didn’t know they had all these myths for MA English and it’s awesome that you overcame all those.

      Entha cheyya, namk chuttum vivaram illatha kure aalkar ayipoi 😛

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Cousin-sisters okke pulikala…ellaa karyathilum; njangal cousin-brothers aanu inganaayi poye 😀
        Naattukaarude vivarakkedil ninnu oru aasvasam illenne 😛

        Like

  6. Way to go girl! With changing times, some things have changed and some haven’t. Sadly, the mentality of a large number of Indian men would be one of the last things to get transformed!
    I liked your attitude. You just stay positive and keep all the negativity at bay.
    And I can totally understand how difficult the juggling can get when you are a CA student – a fellow Chartered Accountant 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mentalities rarely change. And I know better than trying to change them.
      Ahh thank you. 😀 Only another CA student can understand a CA student. Qualifieds as far as I have seen go about advising. You are different. I like you more now 😀

      Like

  7. once again, excellent post! Maybe we are growing but we have a long way to go before people accept it that women have many things to do except for cooking, cleaning and crying! We like to adopt and learn new technologies as much as some men do and not all of us are going to know everything!

    I hope the day will come when women and men won’t be shown what their roles are but given the freedom to chose what they want to be.

    Thanks for sharing your experiences and Wish you luck with your CA studies.. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. It is so annoying right? I have come across this a lot too! And I just don’t understand why can’t people use their common sense and consider the present scenario! Good that you wrote this Ranjini.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. You are right. Even in today’s times people seldom have an open mind about females and their choices. No matter how competent a girl is she is never given her proper due

    Liked by 1 person

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